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1970 Chevy Malibu - Straight Scoop

Top Ten List

Dumb Car Names
Naming cars must be tough. GSX, CSX, RSX, NSX, GTX, GNX, SRX, and AMX, have already been used and there will be an RDX next year. There's not much inspiration left at the zoo either since Cougar, Tiger, Panther, Cheetah, Ram, Mustang, Kodiak, Cobra, Viper, Falcon, Eagle, and practically every other creature's name has already been trademarked. It's gotten so bad that manufacturers have recently been reduced to taking names off the periodic table of the elements (Neon and Cobalt). But the worst names ever? They're classics.-John Pearley Huffman

1. '27-'32 Studebaker Dictator: The perfect car for the stylish fascist looking to impress Depression-era America.

2. '55-'56 Dodge La Femme: Get in this car and you can feel your testosterone leaching away into the upholstery.

3. '59-'62 Buick Invicta: We knew a kid once in school who had a really nasty case of invicta. He was all right most of the time, but when the invicta would flare up, his pupils would dilate and you could look through his eyes and see his brain.

4. '70-'78 AMC Gremlin: Here's "gremlin" defined by Merriam-Webster: "A cause of error or equipment malfunction (as in aircraft) conceived of as a small mischievous gnome."

5. '82-'96 Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera: A cutlass is a sword, but what's a ciera? Apparently nothing at all except a way to misspell Sierra. And what does a Ciera/Sierra have to do with a Cutlass?

6. '32 Chevrolet Confederate: For the man who's proud to be on the wrong side of history!

7. '87-'92 Oldsmobile Toronado Trofeo: Trofeo? OK, so it's Spanish for "trophy." But Toronado? That means absolutely nothing in Spanish. So it's nonsense all the way through.

8. '92-'98 Oldsmobile Achieva: When did typos become a good source of car names? And what was this car's Achieva-ment? Nothing much beyond being slightly better than the Cutlass Calais and slightly worse than the Alero.

9. '94-'02 Cadillac Eldorado ETC: The letters stand for "Eldorado Touring Coupe," but on the decklid it looks like the designers were too bored to finish writing out the name.

10. '05 Ford SYNus: This concept car debuted at the Detroit Auto Show, and Ford actually expected people to pronounce it "sinuous." Instead, everyone thought "nasal drip."

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